TALKING TRASH BEHIND EACH OTHER'S BACKS.
It might sound like advice on avoiding high school drama, but speaking in a mean-spirited way about your partner when he's not around—not just poking innocent fun at his Star Wars obsession—is a red flag that, surprisingly, is pretty common, says Cole. And it could have a lot to do with your friends. "Women may fall into this habit if they're surrounded by people doing the same thing," she says. "If your close group of girl friends are constantly talking poorly about their own husbands, it may feel more normal for you to chime in and say, 'You think yours is bad? Listen to mine.'"
But in reality, it shines a light on a deeper issue, says Cole. "It shows a lack of respect for him and your connection, even if he never finds out," she says, and starts a pattern of negative comparisons that can lead to even more criticism and contempt. Before you know it, your relationship is in a fast, downward spiral.
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